Luckie Kitty's Tail

Lots of emotions come up when caring for, and ultimately losing, a cat with a chronic disease. It's important to know that whatever you’re feeling is okay. There were days when I was so tired of mixing food and medicines that I began to think about how much easier life would be without Luckie. And then I'd feel guilty for feeling that. There were days when having her curled up in my lap as I filled her belly for her was the most joyous experience of bonding.

There are many rewarding moments in caring for a chronically ill cat. For me, it became a huge part of my self-concept. I could see how my ministrations were bringing Luckie back to her old healthy self and that brings a sense of accomplishment. She was so obviously in love with all the attention she was getting, that it was rewarding to spend time with her. Luckie was a very expressive cat and used her eyes and her cuddly movements to express her thanks.

The highs are great and the lows are abysmal. Initially, she was dehydrated and therefore, constipated. We had a little celebration the first day we found stool in her litter box. Those little milestones become so big that you have to laugh at yourself. Then there were the disappointments when her blood work wasn’t showing the improvement that we hoped for. When they thought she was in congestive heart failure it was like a kick in the head because she had been doing so well with her kidney disease. What else could go wrong in that little body? Seeing her struggling to breathe was very scary. Then within weeks we were watching her flourish at camp and show more energy than she had in so long. Her wellness correlated directly with our state of mind. There were days when it seemed nearly impossible to focus on work. It was one of those experiences that, when you see someone else going through it, you think, “I don’t think I could handle that.” Somehow, when it is your life, you just get through it.