Luckie Kitty's Tail

There are moments that you look back on a situation like this and wonder "what if..." There are many of those moments for me in this saga. What if we hadn't been so distracted by our newly purchased camp? Would we have spotted the signs of her illness sooner if we hadn't been so oblivious? Would it have made any difference? Was it the right decision to leave her without a feeding tube? I constantly wonder about the factors that went into the consideration of that decision. Was she happier having those last five months without a tube hanging out of her? Would having the tube only postponed the inevitable or would it have added quality time to her life? How do you know which symptoms/behaviors are a sign that she needs to go to the vet? How many tests do you put her through to get to the bottom of what may be happening inside her when you know that her life expectancy is limited by her kidney disease? In the end, her kidney levels were not what had precipitated the decline.

You can torture yourself with all the second guessing, and I think it's only natural that those thoughts occur to us. Yet, I know that Luckie had a wonderful year during which she got every bit of attention that she had ever begged for. She got top-notch care from top-notch doctors as well as from her two moms. She had a wonderful summer at camp where she got to be as close to outside as she had ever been. How can you second guess any of that?